Friday, March 24, 2017

Paying homage to Tirupati Balaji

All Hindus believe that you cannot go to pay obesience to God till He wants you to come. We had no plans to visit Tirupati Balaji temple but my SIL wanted to and we agreed to accompanying her. The plans all fitted into place and we had one of the best sightings of the God's image. Tirupati is one of the 108 holy temples in Vaishanavite faith.

The newly constructed airport welcomes the passengers with the image of and Goddess Padmavati and Lord Venkateshwar.


Tirumala hills is a collection of seven hills---
Sheshadri, hill of Sheshanaag, the serpent on whom Lord Vishnu rests
Neeladri, the hill of Neela Devi
Garudadri, the hill of Garuda, mount of Lord Vishnu
Anjanadri, hill of Hanumana
Vrishabhadri, hill of Nandi (mount of Lord Shiva)
Narayanadri, hill of Narayana or Lord Vishnu
Venkatadri, hill of Lord Venkateshwara

This is the reason these hills are also known as Saptagiri (sapta:seven, giri: hill). The seventh peak called the Venkatgiri or Venkatadri or Venkatachalam is the abode of Lord Vishnu or Venkateshwar or Srinivasa or Tirupati Balaji. Venkateshwar means Lord of Venkat, Venkat: the name of hill and Ishwar: the Lord.

It is visited by the highest number of pilgrims in the world, around 100,000 everyday, the number doubles on festivals and special occassions.
It is also one of the richest temple with a daily income of around Rs.70 lakhs ($105,000) on non festive days but the amount goes to Rs.2 crore ($300,000) on special occassions.

Hair donated after head tonsuring by devotees is auctioned in the international market and also fetches a very significant revenue for the temple.

Goddess Padmavati temple:
It is mandatory for pilgrims to seek the permission of Goddess Padmavati or Lakshmi before visiting her consort, Vishnu or Venkateshwar.
The temple is at the base of Tirumala hills in Tiruchanur, a suburb of Tirupati. No photography is permittted inside and the driver of our car saw to it that we leave our mobiles in car. So I had to be content by clicking it from outside.

Padmavati temple in background in white

Goddess image on top of the entrance

stone mortar and pestle on a roadside shop

Tirumala:
Before climbing up the one hour journey, all vehicles, bags and people have to undergo a security check. After this begins the climb up winding roads to 3,000 feet above sea level.

Sapthagiri check post at Alipiri before climbing the Tirumala hills

check post before climbing the Tirumala hills

View of Tirumala hills
Just before entering the TTD (Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanam), each vehicle is checked electronically to see if it reached on estimated time.

accomodation for pilgrims


hospital

Lord Venkateshwara

roads cleaned throughout the day

The legend of Venkateshwar Swamy:
The legend is long but I shall try to cover the major points.
Hiranyaksha (हिरण्याक्ष ), was a demon and had comitted a lot of atrocities on earth. Lord Vishnu came in the form of boar, Varahaavatar (वराहावतार), and slayed him. After this he continued staying in the Sapthagiri hills to protect his people.

Meanwhile, Rishi Bhrigu was asked to find the most suitable of the Trinity to be given the fruit of Yagna, holy worship. Bhrigu went to Brahma and Shiva where they not notice him. He then went to Lord Vishnu where the later ignored him too. Bhrigu had a extra eye at the sole of his foot. Angered by being ignored, he stomped  on Vishnu's chest. Vishnu on rebound, pretending to seek forgiveness, while touching his feet, pressed his foot and squeezed the extra eye on his foot, thus destroying his ego. Goddess Lakshmi felt insulted that Bhrigu had kicked her husband, at the place where she resides- in his heart, and angered she came to earth from Vaikunth, her abode, and settled in Kolhapur in Maharashtra, deep in meditation.

Lord Vishnu came down to earth in search of his consort  and took the human form of Srinivsan. He settled in Venkat hills of Saptagiri and started living in an ant hill. When Lakshmi realised that Vishnu had settled in the hills, she prayed to Brahma and Shiva to do something about his food. The Gods took the form of a cow and calf. These where presented by Lakshmi to the Chola king who ruled Tirumala at that time.

no doubt one sees cow and calf on dashboard of vehicles there, Garuda hill in the distance

The cow satisfied the hunger of Srinivasan by providing him milk while grazing every day. Once the cowherd saw this, and angered, he threw an axe at the cow, but Vishnu emerged from ant hill at that time and was hurt by the axe. The cowherd died out of shock  and the cow ran bellowing to the king who, when saw the blood on her, followed the cow into the forest. He saw the cowherd dead and Srinivasan standing there. Srinivasan cursed the ruling King. In those days the King had to take on and atone for the sins of his people. To compensate for his sins, the cowherd's descendents got a boon of opening the temple doors on time.

The King pleaded mercy and Vishnu said he would be born as Akasa Raja in his next birth and marry his daughter, Padmavati.

Srinivasan asked Bhu Varahaswamy the owner of those hills to permit him to stay and as a rental, Shri Venkateshwar Swamy granted the first visit and first offering or Naivaidyam to him. Till today all devotees first visit Bhu Varahaswamy and then go to Vekateshwar temple. The offering is also first made to Varahaswamy and then to the later. Since Srinivasan started to reside in Venkatgiri, he came to be known as Venkateshwar, Lord of Venkat.

Srinivasan married Padmavati and when Lakshmi came to know about this marriage, she confronted her husband, Vishnu, in fear of his wife, turned into a black stone. Brahma and Shiva intervened and removed the confusion. Lord Venkateshwar said that he had taken lots of money as loan from Kuber, the god of wealth to marry Padmavati and till that loan was not repaid he could not go back to Vaikuntha. Lakshmi agreed to stay with him and give lots of wealth to his devotees who would thus help in repaying the loan. The money which is put in Hundi by devotees is said to be for this purpose!

Lakshmi thus occupies the left place in Lord Venkateshwar's heart and Padmavati the right side.

Another side of mythology says that Srinivas was Rama in his previous avatar and Lakshmi was his consort Sita. When they were exiled into forest for 14 years, Sita saw a golden deer, Marich and wanted Ram to get it for her. He ran and when did not come for a long time, Sita asked Ram's younger brother, Lakshman to go in search for his elder brother. Lakshman made a ring of fire as a protection and asked Sita not to cross it.

Ravana, the King of Lanka took the opportunity of abducting Sita in the absence of Ram and Lakshman. He came in the guise of a holy man asking for alms. Since he could not get inside the ring of fire, he asked Sita to come out. As she was about to come out, the God of fire, took Sita inside and produced her replica in Vedavati or Vedavathy. Ravana, mistaking her identity took Vedavati with him. Later, Rama fought with the help of Sugriva and Hanumana and got Vedavati back. Sita, later passed the test of chastity by walking on fire.
Sita asked Rama to accept Vedavati also but Rama was bound by vow to have one wife so he promised to marry her in his next avatar. Padmavati was none other than Vedavati so in this avatar in Kalyug, he married Vedavati or Padmavati.

Goddess Lakshmi on left side near his heart and Goddess Padmavati on right side of Lord Venkateshwara

from left to right: Goddess Padmavati, Lord Venkateshwara and Goddess Lakshmi

Rangadasa was an ardent devotee of Lord Vishnu and once he met Gopinatha who worshipped Lord Venkateshwar.  After bathing at Pushkarni, Ranganatha saw the Lord and started sending flowers to Gopinatha so that the Lord could be worshipped. One day, Ranganatha got distracted and forgot to send the flowers. The Lord appeared in his dreams and said that he was testing his devotion. Since he is so much in love with the worldly pleasures, he would be born a king in his next birth and would build a temple with beautiful vimana. In his next birth, Ranganatha was born as King Thondaiman. As per Lord's prophecy, Lord Venkateshwara appeared in the king's dream and asked him to build a temple at the place where he had turned into stone. The king built the huge temple at Venkatgiri of Tirumala hills.

If you notice carefully, green camphor or pachai karpooram is applied to the Lord's chin!
Shri Ramanujacharya, one of the most important propounder of Vaishnavism in the 10th century wished for a garden from where the flowers could come for daily worship of the Lord. He asked everyone but it was a daunting task and nobody had adequate courage to do it. Ananthalwan volunteered to take the burden of this work. Since this was a holy task he was asked not to seek help from anyone.

Ananthalwan prayed to God and along with his wife settled to work. The work on the hill was not easy. The stones had to be removed, the ground levelled, tilled and then sowing.

Anathalwan's wife was pregnant but she accepted to help her husband in this divine task. She was given the work of carrying the soil from one place to another but that also at times became too much for her.
Lord Venkateshwara had all this while been noticing the couple and He thought of helping them. He assumed the form of a 12 year boy and went to Anathathalwan asking if could help but he refused saying that the burden was on him and he alone would do it.

Ananthalwan after few days suspected that someone was helping his wife as her work was getting done faster. After careful observation he saw a young boy helping her. He got infuriated that inspite of him refusing the boy, he had the guts to approach and help his wife.  He ran after the boy. The boy seeing Ananthalwan running after him ran towards the temple and before he could get inside, Ananthalwar threw a crowbar at him which hit him on his chin. The boy suddenly vanished. Ananthalwan realised he had made a grave mistake by hitting an innocent child, leave alone the divine form of Lord Venkateshwara, of which he was unaware.
He ran into the Garbha Griha, sanctum sanctorum known as Anand Nilayam to ask forgiveness from the Lord. He saw the smiling Lord with a bleeding chin! Overcome with guilt, he prostrated in front of the Lord, begging to be pardoned. The Lord told him that he in no way is to be blamed, as whatever He wants, he gets it done through us, whether it is good or bad. He told him to apply green camphor, pachai karpooram on His bleeding chin. Since then everyday, green camphor is applied to the Lord's chin.
The crow bar is still there at the right side of the main entrance!

The practice of applying camphor to the deity's chin still continues. Scientifically speaking, if camphor is applied to granite, the stone cracks but the deity stands firm even after camphor since time immemorial.

Ananthalwan lived to the age of 84 years singing the glory of the Lord on these hills.
There is also Ananthalwan vrindavan on the hills where his garden was.


Usually an image of Lord Vishnu has these four things in his four hands: Sudarshan Chakra, a conch (shankh), mace (gada), Padma (lotus flower). But here, the Lord is without any weapon (gada). He is in a Nirayudhapaani (निरायुद्धपाणि) meaning in a posture where he will not do battle.
Here, he is seen with his right hand in varad or vara hastham(वरद हस्थम) or boon giving hand fulfilling the wishes of his devotees. His other right hand holds a conch which destroys ignorance. His one left hand is on his thighs, and the other hand has a disc or chakra which destroys evil and also preserves the universe.
His eyes are partially covered because it is said that His gaze is so intense it would burn the earth.

Tonsuring of head at Venkateshwara temple:
It is a very common sight to see people with a tonsured head. But why at Tirupati? According to legend, when the cowherd hurled the axe at the cow and it hit Srinivasan on his head, a part of his hair came off. This was noticed by Gandhara princess, Neela Devi who felt that such a perfect face should not have any imperfection. She immediately cut a portion of her hair and implanted on the Lord's head. Since hair is the most beautiful feature on a person's face, tonoring meant a great sacrifice. It also denotes ending your ego.
The Lord promised that whoever comes to his abode and tonsures his head, the hair would go to Neela Devi and in return the Lord would fulfill the wishes of devotees. It is said that there is a real hair on the idol!



Not only men but women too get their head tonsured.

Paying homage to the Lord:
Tirupati's management is said to be the most organised and ensures well managed darshans. After all, managing above 100,000 devotees everyday is not easy. Many temples in India come to see how this temple functions. We had taken time earlier and were slotted for 5:00 am darshan. We were at our destination at 4:45.
There are three Mahadvaar or gates, first is the with a brass gate, second is silver and last into which only the Lord resides is golden. We did not enter through the first main entrance gate but through a side door into which we entered and after checking our ticket and identity card we were allowed to proceed.
We were ushered into a waiting hall with chairs from where we had to go further. Till that time, we heard bhajans on a huge TV. Unfortunately, the Governor of Andhra Pradesh came to pay homage that day so we had to wait till the time he finished.

After walking in line for sometime, we neared the second silver entrance. On the right side is the dwajasthambam(ध्वजस्थम्बम) inside the dwajasthambam mandap. It is a wooden pillar and is gilded with gold on outside. The flag of with Garuda flutters on top of this during Brahamotsava(ब्रह्मोत्सव), inviting other gods and goddesses to partake in this ritual. When Lord Venkateshwara seated himself in the earth, Brahma celebrated this event. Brahmotsava goes on for 9 days and is held in the month of September/October. Kalyan utsav or the divine wedding between the Lord and his consort is also celebrated during this period.

Crossing the silver gate, everyone is anxiously waiting for a glimpse of the Lord's image.
Anandanilayan or the sanctum sanctorum is the place where the main deity beautifully stands. The entry is through the golden gate and no one is permitted to go inside this. But one can have the pleasure of seeing the deity coming closer, one stands in front of Him for a split second. Hardly did I get time to absorb the full beauty of the Lord. It is sad to go away but there are hundreds behind so the line has to keep moving.
The vimaan or the gopuram is completely gilded in gold and looks beautiful.

After exiting and going in the clockwise direction to do pradikshana or circumambulation, on the left side through the glass doors, one can see mounds of money and people busy counting them.

picture: wikipedia

If you climb up the steps on left side and look towards the golden vimaan or the Anandnilayan vimaan, on the extreme right highlighted in silver border with an arrow pointer is an exact replica of Lord Venkateshwar called Vimaan Venkateshwara. It holds the same importance as the Lord in sanctum sanctorum.


Video of the roof of temple. I got this video from somewhere and liked it a lot.
Moving forward on the right side is the hundi where devotees donate their offerings. A golden varalakshmi is seen at the top blessing all devotees.

I saw many people going around a pillar and on enquiring, I was told that this was the foundation pillar of the temple. Moving forward is a round wish yielding stone. Everyone was lining to write on that rough stone. It is believed that whatever wishes the devotees write with their finger are fulfilled.
We got a prasad of rice sweetened with jaggery.

Before exiting, look towards the left side and you see Hathiram Baba's Math. I in hurry forgot to visit that place :(

Worship:
Lord Venakateshwara is worshipped as Goddess Amba or Uma for 4 days since she resides in the Lord's heart, Lord Vishnu on 2 days and Lord Shiva for 1 day in a week. Bilva leaves or Belpatra leaves are offered to Lord every friday. Venkatesh sahastranaam is chanted here where the first verse speaks about Venkatesh and the second about Shiva.
Kshetra Palika is celebrated on Maha Shivratri here.

Prasadam:
Who can ever forget the taste of Tirupati temple laddus? Filled with cardamoms, raisins, cashews they are a treat for everyone. Since they are highly subsidised, for fearof their being misused, each pilgrim just gets a quota of 2 laddoos.
Around 2 lakh laddoos are prepared and distributed everyday!
The size of laddoo has become smaller over the past years. A 300 gms laddoo is sold for INR 25 but the actual cost of making it is much higher. A smaller sized laddoo is given free to all pilgrims as no one should leave the temple without any prasadam.


Laddoo prasadam of Padmavati and Venkateshwar

Shri Venkateshwar laddoo

Bhu Varahaswamy temple and Pushkarni:
It is advisable and important for a devotee to visit Bhu Varahaswamy temple, dedicated to Varaha avatar, the third avatar of Vishnu before he visits Shri Venkateshwar. It is next to Pushkarni water body. It is said that the water from Abhishekam is passed in here, so a dip in this water is considered holy. We visited the temple at night as we were slotted for 5 am darshan. After the darshan which was very fast, we went to the back of temple to splash some water on ourselves.
We had our first glimpse of the golden Vimana of Shri Venkateshwara temple from here.



view of two vimaan of the Lord's temple and Pushkarni

The water is very clean and clear. There are signs prohibiting washing of any clothes or using soap here. I noticed a net under a tree to catch the leaves from falling into water.

Transport:
The complex is so huge that it is necessary to have some sort of transport. There are pre-paid taxi services. TTD or Tirupati Tirumala Devasthanam provides free bus services throughout for the pilgrims. Most of these buses have been donated by Ramoji Rao, a business man from Hyderabad who owns Eenadu group (and Priya pickles) has donated most of the Dharma Radhams to Tirupati.

free shuttles or Dharma Radhams as they are called

Dining:
Eating is absolutely no problem but all food is vegetarian. It is prohibited to consume non-vegetarian food, smoke or drink on Tirumala hills.

great South Indian meal

my favorite, dosa

Apart from this, there is a choice of buffet style food where you can get dishes like chilli potatoes:)

Garuda hill:
Coming down after the darshan, Garuda hill is seen with a profile of Garuda.


How appropriate a place for Garuda, the mount of Vishnu to be standing there.

Dress code and ethics:
A strict dress code is adhered to at this temple.


  • When going inside to temple for darshan, it is mandatory for everyone to wear an Indian attire. No tee-shirts, jeans, shorts or any western wear is permitted.
  • Women can wear a saree or salwar-kurta with chunni. 
  • Women are prohibited from putting flowers on their hair as the flowers are reserved only for the Lord.
Souvenirs:
There is no shortage of souvenirs to take back home. From clothes, lungis, gifts, garlands, sarees, the market has it all.


Just outside the mall, is a beautiful image of Lord Venkateshwar with Hanumaan on one side and Garuda on the other.



Hanuman with folded hands on left of the Lord

Garuda with folded hands on his right(behind the road blocker)

There is so much I could have seen but if the Lord wants me to visit again, I shall do that with pleasure and have the advantage of seeing whatever I missed this time.



Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Values binding family together

My children left very early for their higher education and on every visit, I would see a change in them. From a young child, I saw them grow into young individuals capable of deciding things for themselves. The though in the early phases shocked me and then on introspection I discovered that was'nt I always telling me children to pursue their dreams? take a career of their choice? and now when they are in a position to do that, I feel dejected. I thought they were drifting away from me. There may be more mothers like me who feel the same.
It can be the most depressing time in a mother's life when she starts to realize that her children are trying to ignore her, answer back at her and deciding what they want to do.

To a certain extent this change is very natural and in today's times, have'nt we been encouraging them to make decisions? Making decisions is definitely a postive development but the choice of making the right decision is important and that is where we as parents play a very major role. Let me start by talking about family values and the environment in family. Why? because family is the first contact with world a child gets, its also his first school.

Do the parents have respect for each other?
We are all individuals with a different personality and agreeing to each other is not easy but when it comes to the children then yes, they need to have a common say. Most of the times we notice that the parents might make contradictory statements. Remember, children are smart and they like to take advantage of whoever yields to their wishes. Yielding to their unreasonable demands is no love, they know that as well. On the contrary you are spoiling them.
I have seen parents looking down at their spouses or making fun of one parent with their children. There is a difference in making fun or ridiculing a parent and enjoying the laughter together.

The parents should try making a habit of deciding together. This I repeat is very important for once the children know that the parents consult each other and decide, not only does the respect for parents increase but couples also come close to each other.

Never oppose your spouse's decision in front of your children
Am I presenting this picture of your home? No matter how wrong your spouse may be, side with her/him in front of your children. If she has said no for something never say "you are wrong and I see no reason why they should not be doing this". This would confuse the child, who is right mother or father? Who should I go to if I need anything?
Maybe, signal each other to talk and if you have a good rapport then you would both understand. Talk to each other and arrive at a decision. If by this time you have realised that you were wrong, go to children and tell them that you think they were right.

Be in close contact with children
It may seem to be a boring idea but family bonding does not happen in a day, It takes whole parenthood to do so. Interacting with them as to what happened in school, their friends, what do they talk about all this will give you an idea as to what your child is thinking and which direction is he going especially during the pre-adolescent and adolescent phase. If you sense he is treading on a wrong path, this is the time to talk and check him. Even if you are working you can remotely be in touch with him. Thanks for technology now, we are 24 x7 online, not thinking how impossible it is now to evade anyone!
Physical closeness leads to security within a child. A child wants nothing than a warm hug from parents. I sometimes wonder why fathers are portrayed as those who cannot show their feelings. This is such a stereostyped character we represent of a father.If a mother can cry or feel sad at the time of their children's departure, why can't a father give a warm hug to his child and say that he misses him? Your child will definitely like that I can assure you.

You are your child's first teacher
Instill faith in your child. Talk to him even if the topic may be too embarassing for you to handle. But one of you should talk to children about the changes both physical and emotional they would be undergoing as they grow up. All this would depend on the social norms you have. Some places may have a tabboo on certain things and some may be too relaxed. Tell them that no question or querry is funny or embarassing and since it a biological fact, deal with it in a positve manner. If you don't tell your child he will go out and find out from his friends and they might get distorted facts.

The money is ours
Imagine a little child being told that the parents earn and they have the say to whatever is bought in the house. Make the child feel that whatever money is earned by parents is his as well. This gives him the feeling of owning that money. Sit together and talk over any unreasonable demand made by your child. We cannot always give him everything. Don't we ever come to terms of not able to buy things at times?

Be honest with them
I shall be writing a separate post on to what extent should parents be honest with their children. But, for now I shall just say that always be honest with your children. It hardly matters what issues there may be but children percieve dishonesty and know when you are hiding something or are lying to them.

Proper guidance from the very beginning
It is not a one day task, regularly monitoring their activities is not easy. You need to decide when to tighten the control and when to losen it. Giving freedom also is important but how much is to be decided by both parents and children.

Same rules apply
Many a times there are separate rules laid out for a girl and a boy. If you have decided on a rule with your daughter go and do the same with son. Differentiating between a boy and a girl is just not acceptable by any child. I shall also write about sibbling rivalry separately.

Parenting is fun but comes with a lot of responsibility. Parents need to understand that children have their own identity, personality. They are mere caretakers helping to nuture their inherent talents and traits. They are not modelling clay to be moulded into a person we want them to be.


Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Flowers on glass and ceramic

A few strokes of paint brings life and color on to a rather dull boring glass ware.
hot pot
soap dispensers
maroon soap dispensers
wine bottle used as a vase
a creamer
wine bottles
sparkling wine bottles!
pickle / storage jars
glass votives

painted glass jars

Aah, do the jars look familiar? They are the small candle jars 😊, when finished, I use them as spice jars.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

To what extent should I have faith in my child?

As a mother of two grown-up children, when I look back over the years, this thought some times fills me with a guilt. Did I never spy on my children? Did I accept what ever they said and never suspected anything fishy in their statements?

I have been fortunate that my children confided everything in me. But adolescent period is such in which they can sway in any direction. Not many children are strong enough not to succumb to peer pressure. That requires a lot of courage for we are all social beings and want to be a part of a circle of friends.

But some incidents become an eye opener and you realise how you have erred. I admit that there have been many mistakes I have made during my parenting years and if given a second chance would want to rectify them. But sadly life does not give a second chance.

My daughter after doing her middle school joined the American School. Since she had followed a British system and curriculum in India, I was apprehensive if she would be able to adjust socially, culturally and academically. Time went and she adjusted wonderfully to all these things.
One day she came to me and said that her class was going for two days out of town. My first reaction being an Indian mother was "Oh, so you all go together, even the boys?" and she said yes, the whole class is going. I got a cultural shock. I told her to give me sometime to think about that.

My husband and I discussed the "serious" matter and concluded that she would soon be going to university for her studies, then are we going to monitor her movements? Do we penalise her for asking us? She could have just come and said, "I want to go". I need to have faith in my child to let her go into the world. I saw my daughter doing her school assignment and tears rolling down her cheeks.
I called her and asked if she really wanted to go and she said in affirmative. We said go. She danced with joy.

She went off to sleep early and I went to kiss her goodnight. She turned sleepily and embraced me saying that I was the best mother in the world. I still get goosepimples thinking about that. How wrong was I? I hurt my child for such a small thing. Did'nt I have that much faith in my daughter? She just wanted an approval. I am proud to say that she has never done anything to put me to shame till now.

Another anecdote which I must mention is about my son. In his high school days, he was a reserved child focussing more on his studies or computer games rather than going out with friends. We always felt that he should be fit socially also. One day during our dinner, he got a call from his friend and just heard him say no, thank you, maybe next time. After he put down the phone, my husband out of curiosity asked him who it was and he said his friend who wanted him to come to a party and he had said no. We said but he should be mixing with his friends also. He kept quiet for some time and then said, what do you want me to do? smoke like my friends, consume drugs like they do or drink? He said I do not want to do any of those things so dont want to go. It was our time to be taken aback. Have been coercing our child to go into a group in which he is not comfortable?

On his school graduating party, he said he wanted to go and I said but you refused two years back about such gatherings. He said mamma, it doesnt matter, I dont have necessarily do what others do. I can always take soft drinks and mingle with my friends and I patted him at the back saying that this is maturity. You have matured into a person, know and decide what you feel is right. You do not always have to go along with the peers or succumb to their pressures. I felt happy that my son had made the right decision two years back and had not done something which we were asking him to do. This time we had wronged but our son stood corrected.

There have been many such incidences in my parenthood and what I have realised that a child in a happy family will never falter from his values which have been instilled in him.


Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Should I be honest with my children?

Aaha, that is a very tricky question. How much truth do I tell my children?
From early childhood your child might ask many embarassing questions in front of people or might ask questions the truth of which you might not want him or her to know. It is a natural reaction either to tell them the truth, a half truth or a lie.

We parents want to portray ourselves as the ideal, truthful and honest beings in front of our children, many a times hiding facts from them.  What could be more humiliating and distressing for a parent than to fall in their eyes? But, I have always followed the philosophy of  being an "open book".

ARE WE HONEST WITH OUR CHILDREN?
Very often we try to portray a nice picture of ourselves. A student of mine once came to me with a swollen lip and when I asked her, she said her mother had slapped but also told her to tell everyone that she had fallen down! She found it strange and asked me as to why her mother had forbidden her to tell the truth. I could not gather enough courage to tell her that her mother did not want anyone to know that she had hit her child.

This made me ponder why we tell our children to speak the truth but we ourselves lead double standards in life. It is not always easy to be honest with children because the moment we tell them the truth we become the villains and no parent can stand looking bad in their eyes.

Is it that difficult to be honest with them? Why don’t we make them understand that parents are, after all, human beings too and they are sure to make mistakes. Parents have a lot of experience of the age at whihc theri children are and that is why we try to be the perfect ones, telling the children that they have had a lot of experience and know things better. However, many a times, the children are correct and more honest.

It definitely is not easy to be honest with children. Once they know the truth you obviously are in a position when your child might remind you of that specific incident and that is something you will have to bear or say you are sorry about that. Because once they start to understand that parents are honest with them, life is much easier and bonding is strong. They learn to respect you. They confide in you and vice versa. If we have erred then we need to take responsibility for that and admit it as our mistake instead of pretending that, merely beacuse we are parents, we are always right.

Your child might ask for something which is beyond your budget, be honest and tell him that you cannot afford it. That answer obviously is not going to be liked by the child but sit and talk to him, expalin that there is a budget and you yourself have to let go of certain things. We want our children to understand these things but not make them feel that money is the most important thing in life or that unquestioning fuliffilent of their demands alone proves our love for them.

It is not that difficult nor too late to be honest with our children, they are ours and we show them the right direction to be taken in their life later on.




Thursday, December 22, 2016

Cambodia currency

Cambodia had Riel as their main currency but after the Khmer Rouge regime ended and UN Peacekeeping forces took over the administration in 1992-93, it brought US dollars into circulation and by the time they left, dollars became a part of Cambodia's economy.
The conversion rate is 4000 R to a dollar with minor fluctuations. The small notes are mainly used as change since no coins exist there. Riel is named after a small fish which is used in making prahoc, the strong flavor it imparts to a Cambodian dish.

Having lived there for five blissful years, I thought of posting pictures of those currency notes in my post.

100 Riel:
old note, but still in circulation.
Front view: Naag, Independence monument on one side, black stone statue on the other side
Rear view: students in front of school
new note in circulation in commemoration of the late King Father Nordorm Sihanouk

front view: seven headed naag, Buddha and a young former and revered King Father Nordorm Sihanouk
rear view: Silver Pagoda (Wat Preah Kheo), Buddha image on the side
500 Riel:
equivalent to 12.5 cents
old note but still in circulation
front view: Angkor Wat
rear view: Kizuna bridge over Mekong river (Kampong Cham)
 front view: present King of Cambodia, King Nordom Sihamoni
back view: Nak Loeung Bridge over Mekong in Phnom Penh ( Cambodia-Japan friendship bridge)
 
1000 Riel:
equivalent to 25 cents
 Front view: Southern gate at Bayon in Angkor
Rear side: Kampong Som harbor ( Sihanoukville)
 After the demise of King Father, Nordorm Sihanouk very limited number of notes to honor him came into circulation.
Front: Naga head, Royal Arms of Cambodia,  late King Nordorm Sihanouk
Rear side: Royal Palace, swan shaped float carrying King Sihanouk's body
I am also pasting few pictures of float with his casket. The public gathered in large numbers wearing the mourning dress code of white and black.
people waiting at Independence Monument
the procession arrives
swan shaped float carrying the casket

the casket
 head monk
public paying homage with folded hands
monks accompanying the casket
The Royal Palace was lighted for a month. Though no one could enter inside the palace, people thronged in huge numbers from across the country to pay homage to their beloved King.
 Royal Palace at night
public lighting incense sticks
The air around the palace became very smoky with the large numer of incense sticks burning.

2000 Riel:
equivalent to 50 cents
Front: Preah Vihear
This temple, a UNESCO World Heritage Site was at some time a disputed region between Thailand and Cambodia. It was under UN protection but was given custody to Cambodia in 2013.
rear view: Angkor Wat in the distance, farmers working in rice fields

5000 Riel:
equivalent to $1.25
Front: King Father Norodom Sihanouk
Back: Bridge in Siem Reap ( Kampong Kdei)

10000 Riel:
equivalent to $2.50
King Father Norodom Sihanouk
Rear view: Royal Palace at Phnom Penh and the famous boat race during the water festival

20000 Riel:
equivalent to $5
Front: Present King Norodom Sihamoni
Back: Aerial view of Angkor Wat, Bayon temple in Angkor Thom on the side

50000 Riel:
equivalent to $12.50
Front: King Norodom Sihanouk
 Back: Korker ruins, elephant sculpture
100000 Riel:
equivalent to $25
Front: King Norodom Sihanouk and Queen Mother Norodom Monineath, I forgot to take the rear view

the new note:
Front: Naga head, Royal Arms of Cambodia, King Father Norodom Sihanouk and Queen Mother Norodom Monineath
Back: King Father Norodom Sihanouk and Queen Mother Norodom Monineath blessing King Norodom Sihanouk, a stone statue of Garuda

Cambodia is fast erasing its bitter memories and marching towards a bright future.