Thursday, April 2, 2015

Inculcating decision making in children

The fruits of parenting are visible only after your children have grown up. Before that you are so busy making them see right from wrong that you don't realise the end result till you experience the outcome.

When my daughter visited us and we were both chatting, she mentioned that decision making was one of the very positive things that they learned at a very early age. I was surprised for I, obviously assumed it was natural and a part of the family approach. She said that there are people who find it difficult to make proper decisions. That made me think about this post.

Is decision making inborn or we can teach such things? To some extent, it is a part of the personality but they can be inculcated in children.

Small everyday decisions taken in the house lead to major decision making ability later on in life. We parents have the tendency to take all decisions, may it be what would be cooking for dinner, who would be invited over, what clothes our child would be wearing or even what the menu would be for his or her birthday ! I often hear parents decide even when the child becomes an adult.

We take the leash in our hands.  If we decide everything for the child, but do not consider the basic question- am I leaving anything for them to decide on?  The problem most often is we do not want the child to make decisions for himself, for once he starts taking decisions, your role is over ! he might not even need to ask you.  But, this is so wrong, on the contrary your child will come back to you in any major decision makings. It is sign of a healthy family where parents ask for opinions from their children and all important decisions are taken together as a family.

We are all born with some traits and those form our over all personality. But exposure to situations can also bring about a change in that personality to a very large extent.

Inculcating decision making is not a one-day thing. It is an ongoing process.
You do not ask for important advise from a small child but maybe take his opinion about mundane things, such as where do we go out for dinner? You tell him that we are going to spend a specified amount of money and therefore what would be best place to go. Also, why that place? These small "unimportant" decisions taken by the child hone their major decision making ability later in life. This also imbibes a lot of confidence in them for they learn how to weigh his priorities.

I am suggesting a few ideas of instilling decision making in your child. You do not need special events for that, make it a part of everyday practice. A weekend outing and managing the food and drinks to be packed or purchassed makes the child think of the small details. Obviously as a parent, you have to keep a watch on what is being packed or what is missing. Maybe, give some ideas and let them decide for themselves.

Maybe, give the child certain amount of money and let him decide as to what should be bought. This leads to money management abilities also.

I feel elated that the things which I had thought as a natural part of parenting have made my children so confident and well adjusted to life.


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