Midlife Crisis

Midlife crisis. Don't we hear this word so much? Does it affect everyone and is there a way we can try to reduce its impact?
I never thought that this word would enter my world. But, what is midlife crisis?
We are so busy with our lives that we hardly get time to think of anything else other than work. Its only after there is a change in our lifestyle which is very different from our earlier routine that this depression starts setting in. It may be after retirement, children leaving home, a spouse leaving home, or getting too busy in his profession, or even a tragedy in the family. They say it affects women more and earlier than men. All this made me wonder why this would be the case. After careful introspection, I figured out that women are more entangled in the web of household and are the hub of all activities. The sudden reduction of responsibilities introduces emptiness in their lives.

I was a stay at home mother for few years after my marriage. I was thoroughly contented, looking after the home and rearing children having no time to even look at myself. I woud be free once the children start going to school, I thought, but that was not so. Once they were back from school, monitoring their studies and talking to them about school became the most important thing for me. I regressed to their mental age!

What do you do? This was something people would ask me when I would meet some one new. Do? no, I don't do anything would be my answer and they would say OOOH in a pitying way.

Being a trained teacher, I joined school after a few years. Life then became all the more hectic but it was a source of pride, an accomplishment. Now, whenever the question of what I did came about, I would proudly proclaim that I was a teacher!!

My children soon graduated from school and went off for further studies. I left school as we moved from one place to another and my husband's job required a lot of travel. I would accompany him some times.
But, when I was on my own then there was a sort of vacuum, an emptiness that started engulfing me. A feeling that everyone is busy is their lives and no one has time for me. Is this what is called midlife crisis? If so, I can't ruin my life like this. There has to be some way out.

I sat one day contemplating and thought as to what do I like? What is I would want to do? Something which I have always wanted but have put in the back of my mind giving priority to my family?
A sudden wave hit me and I said this is the time I need to give something to myself. This thought entirely changed my perspective towards life. Gone was the vacuum I was feeling.
I picked up new hobbies, learnt so many things irrespective of whether they would be useful. I just wanted to enjoy life.

Life is short, don't fret because as the saying goes, "the world laughs when you laugh but when you cry, you cry alone". People would sympathise with you but finally it is you who has to live your life.
Forget the thought of " I shouldn't be doing this or this is not my age to do this." Your are the master of your life and you run it the way you want it to. Dance on a peppy number, play games if you are in no mood to do anything else, watch a movie or tv serials. Start learning a new language. Involve yourself in some social work. All this will keep you very occupied and will give you the satifaction of doing some thing good for people. Think of it as a freedom from stereostypes.
I live in a non English speaking region, so I try to learn their language and teach some thing to them. One thing I do while watching tv is to do something with my hands. The work is more fun and you are multitasking at the same time.

Now, when someone asks me what do you do? I say you mean to ask if I work outside the home? No, I don't but I have so much to do at home that I don't have time to get bored or think of anything else.

Something I find strange is that most people assume that working outside the house is working and being a home maker is not. There is definitely a lot of strain on working mothers but for those who are stay at home moms, it may be quite monotonous. I have experienced both and can easily assess both of them. I am not going to say which is better because there are advantages in both of them. For those who are not working outside homes, say with pride that you are a home maker. Have the satisfaction of tending to your family needs. Your family is because of you and revolves around you.

It is not only women who face this crisis, it may hit them earlier but this affects men equally especially after they retire from jobs. They become irritated, depressed, lose interest in life. They repeatedly talk about when they held a particular designation or what happened and how they tackled the situation. It is imperative for men to pick up some hobbies as well. If, possible take up some part time job if you want. But, you all relax, you have done your bit. You shall never get a better time to enjoy life with your spouse or your family.

The life now looks beautiful and I look forward to the start of new day. So long as this life suits me, I am happy. If in future I start getting depressed, I might modify my engagements and change the direction of my life yet again!

Kep, the town for sea food

Kep, a small French colonial place is one of the ideal weekend get away in Cambodia. Situated in the Gulf of Thailand, the place is peaceful and is very welcome after the erratic traffic at Phnom Penh.

The place offers a wide choice for accomodation and is easily available. We decided to take a family room which had an open area with a comfortable couch and chairs outside our rooms.

In a corner was a seating place with pillows and mosquito netting.

shell light shade!

The verandah provided a beautiful view and also of the Gulf of Thailand.

We arrive for our breakfast here.

Rabbit island (Koh Tonsay):
Make a day trip to rabbit island. For this, you go to the ferry terminal.You can hire a shared motorboat or can hire a separate one. The charges are $25 per boat. They shall ask you for the time of return. Having done this you get into the boat and start your joourney. Depending on the weather, the water can be very rough. It was when we went and I could not even take any pictures.

Once at the island, the boatman might ask you for the time of return for confirmation. Take a narrow winding path to the other side of island. That is where the main activity is.

enjoying a siesta

Once there, you are greeted by white sand beach and trees under which hang hammocks. Grab a hammock and laze around. There are small eateries, order a cool drink or fresh coconut water. You get cocktails and beer at very reasonable prices.

Once back in town, try experimenting sea food by the wharf. There are plenty of restaurants serving fresh sea food.

sauteed crabs

curried prawns

These prawns have an entirely different taste. I have yet to come across a place like this in Phnom Penh which serves such tasty sea food. Added to sea food are the fresh Kampot peppercorns which lend a very typical flavor to the dish.

cockles

They were not that good and my children decided to leave half of them behind.

Returning back towards Phnom Penh, make a detour and visit a pepper farm. Most of them welcome visitors and show them around the farm.

Visit to pepper farm:
Kampot is famous for its pepper which is widely used in French cuisine. It almost vanished after Khmer Rouge. The plantations are now reviving.

pepper climbers

black, red and white peppercorns left to dry

All these peppercorns come from the same plant. First harvest is the white, they ripen a little bit and produce red and last of the crop are black peppercorns.

rambutans waiting to ripen

Phnom Chngok:

Further ahead towards Kampot a diversion towards an off beaten track leads to a network of caves. As soon as a vehicle nears the caves, children come running to be a guide for you. They are wonderful guides with torches in hand lead you to dark, narrow caves infested with mosquitoes.

a temple at entrance

The interconnecting caves, I was told was a safe haven during the Khmer Rouge days for their cadres.

entering one the caves

I was not brave enough to venture deep into any of the caves and felt happy on coming out.

The limestone hillock has subterranean water. I do not know how much is true but we were told by our child guide that earlier they could go inside but now they have snakes in water.

 entering foot of hills with stalactites of calcium carbonate deposits

Statue of Buddha under the caves

Passing through the winding path and manoeuvring through big stones I make my way outside back into the "civilization"! Or I would say to my mundane traffic packed life.

Wat Rachaburana, Ayutthya

Very close to Wat Mahathat, is the wat with the most beautiful prang. Infact, it is just across the road. It has one of the most beautiful preserved prangs.

main prang as seen from Wat Mahathat

Some historical background:
King Intharacha ruled Ayutthya from 1409 to 1424. After his death, there was a duel between his two elder sons over succession to the throne. They fought each other and were both killed. Prince Sam Phraya was the next on line and so sat on the throne and was given the title of King Borommarachthirat II. He built the monument on the site where his brothers were cremated.

Viharn:
As soon as one enters the wat premises, only the walls of viharn are left to be seen. According to records the viharn and ubosot were a much later addition to the wat.

walls of the viharn

an image of dismembered Buddha sits in viharn

Gallery:

Building of a gallery surrounding the main prang was prevalent at that time. The gallery used to be closed and had Buddha in sitting posture facing the prang.

gallery with fragmented images

broken pieces and dismembered figures

Ubosoth or the ordination hall:

Ubosoth like the viharn was a much later addition to the monastery. It lies on the west of monastery whereas viharn is on the opposite direction.

sema stones visible

one of the many chedis in the wat complex

 another chedi

stucco work still visible

Prang:

The most beautiful attraction to the monument is the prang. It was influenced by Khmer architecture. The main or the pradhan prang is surrounded by four small chedis in four cardinal directions forming a quincunx.
The monastery was earlier surrounded by water. Thus, the central prang represented Mount Meru being surrounded by ocean.

The small surrounding chedis are bell shaped in Sri Lankan style.

The prang stands on a platform and above that the base of prang is indented. The prang was covered by scaffolding and renovation was underway when we visited. Taking good photos was a challenge.

On the four corners above, in line with the smaller prangs, sits garuda on a multi headed naga. On the sides are seen dwarpalas.

The garuda above lacks the naga, probably has been damaged.

On all four sides there are steps leading to the prang. Because of renovation we went around the prang and fortunately the south end was clear. Right in front of us stood an image of Buddha under a projected porch.  It is similar to the ones used in Hindu temples where images of deity are placed.

image inside the porch

I tried to shoo away a pigeon which was persistently sitting on Buddha's hands. The color of the robe has partly sustained and witnessed time.

view of ubosoth and gallery

Entrance to crypt:

This is the highlight of Wat Racha Burana and is considered one of the most unique type of crypt architecture.

There are three entrances to the crypt. North, South and East. West obviously did not have any entrance as it signifies the setting sun and also death. Unfotunately for us, only the east entrance was open.

Once you enter the room, there are steep steps leading to the crypt. I could not gather the courage to go down these steps. It would soon become clautrophobic as the room is very tiny without any light. But, if you are not bothered by small confined spaces, I would suggest you definitely go down.

There are beautiful murals and fresco, though some are not in very good condition.

Just behind the way to steps is a small room which has pictures of what was found in the crypt. The room smelt of bats and you could hear them squeaking.

In 1956, the Fine Arts Department excavated the central prang of Wat Mahathat and found plenty of artifacts. Thinking on the same line, some looters made their way into the crypt of Wat Rachaburana in 1957 and escaped with a huge booty. They were apprehended by police. Some of it was reclaimed but most was lost.

Later, the Fine Arts Department undertook the task of restoration in 1958 and discovered more valuables. They are now placed and can be seen at Chao Sam Phraya Museum in Ayutthya.

entrance fees:
50 Baht
timings: 0800 hours to 1700 hours

Other wats worth a visit: Wat Yaichai Mongkol, Ayutthya, Wat Sri Sanphet,Ayutthya, Wat Mahathat, Ayutthya, Wat Chaiwatthanaram, Ayutthya

Wat Chaiwatthanaram, Ayutthya

In my itinearary, I had not planned of visiting this wat. Our driver told us that this wat should be seen. We were running out of time and had to return to Bangkok but then thought of making a quick visit to this place. I am happy we did that.
The wat is exquisite, must have been grandest at its peak. It was very different from the ones we had visited earlier during the day.

model of the wat from the Chao Phrya side

view from Chao Phraya side

This was the actual entrance. Water transport was very common at that time so it was easy to access the wat.

model from the west side

view from west side

This now is the entrance. At first glimpse it resembles Angkor Wat in Cambodia. The prang style is the same.

Some historical background:

• King Prasat Thong ruled from 1630 to 1650. Just after being sworn in as the king, he ordered a wat to be built in honor of his foster mother who lived at that place. The construction probably took 20 years to complete.
• there are two identical chedis, one is said to in honor of King Prasat Thong's mother, the other one probably his father, but nothing definite is known about the other one.
• Building a memorial or chedi in honor of someone was a way to gain merits by kings.
• It was almost after a period of 200 years that Khmer architecture wa revived with the building of a prang. Before this the prang is said to be constructed at Rachaburana.
• the wat was a place for royal ceremonies and also funerals of deceased royal family members only.

information on the wat

 stucco relief panel on a meru

False windows, something like lattice work was earlier seen in Wat Mahathat also........

stucco relief panel and false window on side

Passing the merus with fast disappearing stucco panels, we enter the gallery in the center of which is the quincunx. Main prang surrounded by four smaller ones in the four inter-cardinal directions.

The central or the main prang is 35 meter high and stands on a platform

Steep staircases on each of the four cardinal sides lead to the center of prang. The entrance on east side only opens into a chamber where relics were enshrined.

main prang with a smaller one

a small prang

The central prang is surrounded by four smaller prangs on four inter cardinal directions. The main prang representing Mount Meru, around which the universe revolves. The small prangs represent the four major continents.

If you look at the above picture closely, you would notice small holes on the surface. The holes were made by nails which secured tin sheets covered by gold. In this manner the five prangs were  covered with gold. One can imagine how beautiful the place must have looked at that time.

The gallery:
Surrounding the quincunx is a gallery which has four merus on four corners and four in between them.

a corner meru

There are four such corner merus. Inside each are seated two images of Buddha adjacent to each other in bhumisparsh mudra, sitting posture. The images face the galleries.The ceiling is black painted wood.

There is only one image of Buddha in the middle meru.

Image of Buddha with a crown in one of the merus

another image of Buddha with a crown in another meru

an idea of the stucco work at the Buddha image pedestal

seated Buddha images throughout the gallery

 view of gallery with a row of Buddha images

corner meru

All along the walls are images of 104 sitting Buddhas facing the main prang in Bhumisparsh mudra or "victory over Mara" posture.

The gallery shows marks of pillars indicating that it was covered at one point of time.

corner and middle meru

Then there are images of Buddha on either side of meru with their back to the main prang. So there are 8x2 Buddha images.

Ubosoth:
A flight of steps leads to ordination hall or the ubosot or ubosoth.

 side view of ubosoth

Only the floor of ubosoth remains now.

 front view

actual entrance to monastery from Chao Phrya river

Chedis:

On either side of ubosoth, close to river Chao Phrya stand two identical chedis. They are not situated on a platform. It is assumed that one of the chedi might contain the ashes of King Prasat Thong's mother as the temple was built in honor of her. The other might have the ashes of his fathers, but it is mere speculation.

Mural paintings:

When I was reading the information board, I came to know that there were mural paintings also. I looked with deep concentration and found very faint paintings. They seem to be disappearing fast. I have put the picture by the archeology department alongside mine.

The wat was deserted in 1767 after the Burmese invasion. Restoration began much later in 1987 and it was opened to public in 1992. Since it is situated so close to the river, it suffered severe damage during the flooding in 2012.

entrance ticket:
It is a part of Ayutthya Historical Park, the entrance is 50 Baht.

Some more wats to visit Wat Rachaburana, Ayutthya, Wat Yaichai Mongkol, Ayutthya, Wat Mahathat, Ayutthya, Wat Sri Sanphet,Ayutthya