Midlife crisis. Don't we hear this word so much? Does it affect everyone and is there a way we can try to reduce its impact?
I never thought that this word would enter my world. But, what is midlife crisis?
We are so busy with our lives that we hardly get time to think of anything else other than work. Its only after there is a change in our lifestyle which is very different from our earlier routine that this depression starts setting in. It may be after retirement, children leaving home, a spouse leaving home, or getting too busy in his profession, or even a tragedy in the family. They say it affects women more and earlier than men. All this made me wonder why this would be the case. After careful introspection, I figured out that women are more entangled in the web of household and are the hub of all activities. The sudden reduction of responsibilities introduces emptiness in their lives.
I was a stay at home mother for few years after my marriage. I was thoroughly contented, looking after the home and rearing children having no time to even look at myself. I woud be free once the children start going to school, I thought, but that was not so. Once they were back from school, monitoring their studies and talking to them about school became the most important thing for me. I regressed to their mental age!
What do you do? This was something people would ask me when I would meet some one new. Do? no, I don't do anything would be my answer and they would say OOOH in a pitying way.
Being a trained teacher, I joined school after a few years. Life then became all the more hectic but it was a source of pride, an accomplishment. Now, whenever the question of what I did came about, I would proudly proclaim that I was a teacher!!
My children soon graduated from school and went off for further studies. I left school as we moved from one place to another and my husband's job required a lot of travel. I would accompany him some times.
But, when I was on my own then there was a sort of vacuum, an emptiness that started engulfing me. A feeling that everyone is busy is their lives and no one has time for me. Is this what is called midlife crisis? If so, I can't ruin my life like this. There has to be some way out.
I sat one day contemplating and thought as to what do I like? What is I would want to do? Something which I have always wanted but have put in the back of my mind giving priority to my family?
A sudden wave hit me and I said this is the time I need to give something to myself. This thought entirely changed my perspective towards life. Gone was the vacuum I was feeling.
I picked up new hobbies, learnt so many things irrespective of whether they would be useful. I just wanted to enjoy life.
Life is short, don't fret because as the saying goes, "the world laughs when you laugh but when you cry, you cry alone". People would sympathise with you but finally it is you who has to live your life.
Forget the thought of " I shouldn't be doing this or this is not my age to do this." Your are the master of your life and you run it the way you want it to. Dance on a peppy number, play games if you are in no mood to do anything else, watch a movie or tv serials. Start learning a new language. Involve yourself in some social work. All this will keep you very occupied and will give you the satifaction of doing some thing good for people. Think of it as a freedom from stereostypes.
I live in a non English speaking region, so I try to learn their language and teach some thing to them. One thing I do while watching tv is to do something with my hands. The work is more fun and you are multitasking at the same time.
Now, when someone asks me what do you do? I say you mean to ask if I work outside the home? No, I don't but I have so much to do at home that I don't have time to get bored or think of anything else.
Something I find strange is that most people assume that working outside the house is working and being a home maker is not. There is definitely a lot of strain on working mothers but for those who are stay at home moms, it may be quite monotonous. I have experienced both and can easily assess both of them. I am not going to say which is better because there are advantages in both of them. For those who are not working outside homes, say with pride that you are a home maker. Have the satisfaction of tending to your family needs. Your family is because of you and revolves around you.
It is not only women who face this crisis, it may hit them earlier but this affects men equally especially after they retire from jobs. They become irritated, depressed, lose interest in life. They repeatedly talk about when they held a particular designation or what happened and how they tackled the situation. It is imperative for men to pick up some hobbies as well. If, possible take up some part time job if you want. But, you all relax, you have done your bit. You shall never get a better time to enjoy life with your spouse or your family.
The life now looks beautiful and I look forward to the start of new day. So long as this life suits me, I am happy. If in future I start getting depressed, I might modify my engagements and change the direction of my life yet again!
I never thought that this word would enter my world. But, what is midlife crisis?
We are so busy with our lives that we hardly get time to think of anything else other than work. Its only after there is a change in our lifestyle which is very different from our earlier routine that this depression starts setting in. It may be after retirement, children leaving home, a spouse leaving home, or getting too busy in his profession, or even a tragedy in the family. They say it affects women more and earlier than men. All this made me wonder why this would be the case. After careful introspection, I figured out that women are more entangled in the web of household and are the hub of all activities. The sudden reduction of responsibilities introduces emptiness in their lives.
I was a stay at home mother for few years after my marriage. I was thoroughly contented, looking after the home and rearing children having no time to even look at myself. I woud be free once the children start going to school, I thought, but that was not so. Once they were back from school, monitoring their studies and talking to them about school became the most important thing for me. I regressed to their mental age!
What do you do? This was something people would ask me when I would meet some one new. Do? no, I don't do anything would be my answer and they would say OOOH in a pitying way.
Being a trained teacher, I joined school after a few years. Life then became all the more hectic but it was a source of pride, an accomplishment. Now, whenever the question of what I did came about, I would proudly proclaim that I was a teacher!!
My children soon graduated from school and went off for further studies. I left school as we moved from one place to another and my husband's job required a lot of travel. I would accompany him some times.
But, when I was on my own then there was a sort of vacuum, an emptiness that started engulfing me. A feeling that everyone is busy is their lives and no one has time for me. Is this what is called midlife crisis? If so, I can't ruin my life like this. There has to be some way out.
I sat one day contemplating and thought as to what do I like? What is I would want to do? Something which I have always wanted but have put in the back of my mind giving priority to my family?
A sudden wave hit me and I said this is the time I need to give something to myself. This thought entirely changed my perspective towards life. Gone was the vacuum I was feeling.
I picked up new hobbies, learnt so many things irrespective of whether they would be useful. I just wanted to enjoy life.
Life is short, don't fret because as the saying goes, "the world laughs when you laugh but when you cry, you cry alone". People would sympathise with you but finally it is you who has to live your life.
Forget the thought of " I shouldn't be doing this or this is not my age to do this." Your are the master of your life and you run it the way you want it to. Dance on a peppy number, play games if you are in no mood to do anything else, watch a movie or tv serials. Start learning a new language. Involve yourself in some social work. All this will keep you very occupied and will give you the satifaction of doing some thing good for people. Think of it as a freedom from stereostypes.
I live in a non English speaking region, so I try to learn their language and teach some thing to them. One thing I do while watching tv is to do something with my hands. The work is more fun and you are multitasking at the same time.
Now, when someone asks me what do you do? I say you mean to ask if I work outside the home? No, I don't but I have so much to do at home that I don't have time to get bored or think of anything else.
Something I find strange is that most people assume that working outside the house is working and being a home maker is not. There is definitely a lot of strain on working mothers but for those who are stay at home moms, it may be quite monotonous. I have experienced both and can easily assess both of them. I am not going to say which is better because there are advantages in both of them. For those who are not working outside homes, say with pride that you are a home maker. Have the satisfaction of tending to your family needs. Your family is because of you and revolves around you.
It is not only women who face this crisis, it may hit them earlier but this affects men equally especially after they retire from jobs. They become irritated, depressed, lose interest in life. They repeatedly talk about when they held a particular designation or what happened and how they tackled the situation. It is imperative for men to pick up some hobbies as well. If, possible take up some part time job if you want. But, you all relax, you have done your bit. You shall never get a better time to enjoy life with your spouse or your family.
The life now looks beautiful and I look forward to the start of new day. So long as this life suits me, I am happy. If in future I start getting depressed, I might modify my engagements and change the direction of my life yet again!
Great perception
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