Gender bias or giving preference to one sex is almost universal. But, why the preference to one sex alone? I have noticed preference towards one sex of the child.
Parents would often also say to their spouse your daughter and my son. Why is'nt it our son or our daughter? When I think about my children, I can never decide as to whom I love most. For me, both have their own personality, they are so different from each other, having different qualities. On what basis do I weigh them?
Do the parents wish for a child so that they are taken care in their old age? Or is it the enjoyement of rearing them?
I also hear people say, oh I had always wanted girls and I am glad that I have them. Never do I hear that they wanted a boy and have got one. This has made me think about this issue and analyse the statement.
Is it that we consider girls inferior and by saying this, I am trying to come to terms with myself? When I chose one sex over the other, be it a girl or a boy isnt it being gender biased too? Why do I have to consider one gender superior and the other inferior? It makes me happy when I ask an expectant mother as to what does she want and she says she would just want a healthy child.
After all there are 2 genders. Some people say they want a son and criticism is loud and obvious if you express such feelings. But if one says he only wanted daughters then they are praised as if this is the obvious and right thing to say. But then are you not expressing a bias against sons by saying this? Or is it merely a way to assuage your feelings about not having a son by loudly proclaiming you wanted only daughters? or are we just trying to be politically correct? Do we all not want a balanced family with both sons and daughters?
As a parent, should'nt I be treating both genders equally? Especially in a country like India, people would visit temples to grant them a son. Why do I have to ask God for favors? It is taken as a a matter of great pride if a person says that they wanted a daughter and asked God for that? What is the difference between asking God for a daughter or son?
When I write this, I am not talking about the social constraints in some communities. I am talking about a general practice.
Why we as parents do not consider both the girl and boy equally? I have noticed different rules set for them. Why? If they both are your children then rules should also be the same. For boys, it is late night and parties but for girls early night and back home early. If you decide an early night for your daughter, do not make the mistake of extending your son's party time. This difference would naturally offend your daughter and why not? only because she is a daughter?
Many a times I hear a parent saying we have reared our daughter like a son! Why do you have to do that? Never have I heard a parent saying, I have reared my son like my daughter! Why is there anything wrong in a girl being nurtured like a girl? Why do I have to treat her like a boy?
Let the children live their identity, every child is different, do not try to mould your child into someone you want. There is a lot of guilt and pressure on the child. Every child wants to make their parents proud and will do the most he can. But, we parents mar their personality by our behaviour.
Take pride in your children be it a girl or a boy. Love them equally for they love you too much to hurt you.
Parents would often also say to their spouse your daughter and my son. Why is'nt it our son or our daughter? When I think about my children, I can never decide as to whom I love most. For me, both have their own personality, they are so different from each other, having different qualities. On what basis do I weigh them?
Do the parents wish for a child so that they are taken care in their old age? Or is it the enjoyement of rearing them?
I also hear people say, oh I had always wanted girls and I am glad that I have them. Never do I hear that they wanted a boy and have got one. This has made me think about this issue and analyse the statement.
Is it that we consider girls inferior and by saying this, I am trying to come to terms with myself? When I chose one sex over the other, be it a girl or a boy isnt it being gender biased too? Why do I have to consider one gender superior and the other inferior? It makes me happy when I ask an expectant mother as to what does she want and she says she would just want a healthy child.
After all there are 2 genders. Some people say they want a son and criticism is loud and obvious if you express such feelings. But if one says he only wanted daughters then they are praised as if this is the obvious and right thing to say. But then are you not expressing a bias against sons by saying this? Or is it merely a way to assuage your feelings about not having a son by loudly proclaiming you wanted only daughters? or are we just trying to be politically correct? Do we all not want a balanced family with both sons and daughters?
As a parent, should'nt I be treating both genders equally? Especially in a country like India, people would visit temples to grant them a son. Why do I have to ask God for favors? It is taken as a a matter of great pride if a person says that they wanted a daughter and asked God for that? What is the difference between asking God for a daughter or son?
When I write this, I am not talking about the social constraints in some communities. I am talking about a general practice.
Why we as parents do not consider both the girl and boy equally? I have noticed different rules set for them. Why? If they both are your children then rules should also be the same. For boys, it is late night and parties but for girls early night and back home early. If you decide an early night for your daughter, do not make the mistake of extending your son's party time. This difference would naturally offend your daughter and why not? only because she is a daughter?
Many a times I hear a parent saying we have reared our daughter like a son! Why do you have to do that? Never have I heard a parent saying, I have reared my son like my daughter! Why is there anything wrong in a girl being nurtured like a girl? Why do I have to treat her like a boy?
Let the children live their identity, every child is different, do not try to mould your child into someone you want. There is a lot of guilt and pressure on the child. Every child wants to make their parents proud and will do the most he can. But, we parents mar their personality by our behaviour.
Take pride in your children be it a girl or a boy. Love them equally for they love you too much to hurt you.
Very true
ReplyDeleteBoy,Girl or Other , is your child so love what That Child is.